Why, you ask? Evidence:
1. Free candy
You never turn down free candy. Trick-or-Treating is the best invention in the history of mankind. You get to threaten people into giving you stuff! "What, old man? Don't give me candy and I'll punk you!" And when you become too old to threaten candy out of people yourself, you can attach yourself to various small children (siblings, nieces, random kids from down the street) and go anyway.
You never turn down free candy. Trick-or-Treating is the best invention in the history of mankind. You get to threaten people into giving you stuff! "What, old man? Don't give me candy and I'll punk you!" And when you become too old to threaten candy out of people yourself, you can attach yourself to various small children (siblings, nieces, random kids from down the street) and go anyway.
2. Free excuse to EAT said candy
What's the use of getting candy (or stealing it from your little brother) if you feel bad for eating it? Fear not! On Halloween, EVERYONE eats candy. If everyone else is doing it, it must be ok, right? My logic in undeniable.
What's the use of getting candy (or stealing it from your little brother) if you feel bad for eating it? Fear not! On Halloween, EVERYONE eats candy. If everyone else is doing it, it must be ok, right? My logic in undeniable.
3. Free excuse to play dress-up
I will take any excuse to play dress-up, thank you. Do you get to be a princess for any other holiday? Psh, no. It's your opportunity to explore any of the strange alter-egos you have but don't tell anyone about. However, on the flip side, if you do NOT dress up, you are sure to be shunned. Which I am pretty much OK with.
4. Free excuse to scream like a little girl
On any other day, whilst watching a scary movie, a man who screams like a 6 year old girl is pansy. On Halloween, it's kinda cute. Also, if you are the one screaming like a sissy, the guy next to you has a free ticket to comfort you chivalrously. Everyone wins.
5. Free excuse to make a complete fool out of yourself
October 31st is the only day out of the year that people don't humiliate guys in drag, a chick in a cauliflower suit , or any of the various ridiculous costumes in the world. You can also scare the pants of any of your friends (or have your pants scared off) and not be in the wrong. You pretty much have a "get out of jail free card" for any of the stupid things you are bound to do.
6. Free excuse to make a complete fool out of your children
Please, feel free to dress up your 9-year old in a banana suit. Don't have a 9 year old? This is what little siblings are for. You'll be thankful for the pictures in a few years when they bring the first girlfriend home.
7. Free excuse to scare annoying children
Go ahead, jump out of the bushes with a knife and watch children scream. I find that this is particularly therapeutic if said children are the annoying kids from down the street that like to dig up your yard. Of course, there are kids like me, who would see the mad-chainsaw-man moving around in the bushes and say "Nice Try" when they jumped out of the bushes. So watch out for that. You can also deny candy to whomever you choose. For instance, I refuse candy to annoying pre-pubescents who have Wal-Mart sacks and couldn't be bothered to dress up. Unless, of course, they come up with a creative excuse, such as "I'm a nudist on strike!". I give points for creativity.
8. Free excuse to butcher innocent gourds
I feel that this is best described by pictures.
My pumpkin:
My Mother's Pumpkin:
Undeniable evidence: Halloween is Awesome.
I will take any excuse to play dress-up, thank you. Do you get to be a princess for any other holiday? Psh, no. It's your opportunity to explore any of the strange alter-egos you have but don't tell anyone about. However, on the flip side, if you do NOT dress up, you are sure to be shunned. Which I am pretty much OK with.
4. Free excuse to scream like a little girl
On any other day, whilst watching a scary movie, a man who screams like a 6 year old girl is pansy. On Halloween, it's kinda cute. Also, if you are the one screaming like a sissy, the guy next to you has a free ticket to comfort you chivalrously. Everyone wins.
5. Free excuse to make a complete fool out of yourself
October 31st is the only day out of the year that people don't humiliate guys in drag, a chick in a cauliflower suit , or any of the various ridiculous costumes in the world. You can also scare the pants of any of your friends (or have your pants scared off) and not be in the wrong. You pretty much have a "get out of jail free card" for any of the stupid things you are bound to do.
6. Free excuse to make a complete fool out of your children
Please, feel free to dress up your 9-year old in a banana suit. Don't have a 9 year old? This is what little siblings are for. You'll be thankful for the pictures in a few years when they bring the first girlfriend home.
7. Free excuse to scare annoying children
Go ahead, jump out of the bushes with a knife and watch children scream. I find that this is particularly therapeutic if said children are the annoying kids from down the street that like to dig up your yard. Of course, there are kids like me, who would see the mad-chainsaw-man moving around in the bushes and say "Nice Try" when they jumped out of the bushes. So watch out for that. You can also deny candy to whomever you choose. For instance, I refuse candy to annoying pre-pubescents who have Wal-Mart sacks and couldn't be bothered to dress up. Unless, of course, they come up with a creative excuse, such as "I'm a nudist on strike!". I give points for creativity.
8. Free excuse to butcher innocent gourds
I feel that this is best described by pictures.
My pumpkin:
My Mother's Pumpkin:
Undeniable evidence: Halloween is Awesome.
Love the pumpkins!
ReplyDeleteAnd your blog layout. Super cute!
i am in love with your pumpkin. i shall do that next year!
ReplyDelete